the relationship between man and dog

>> justice, my best friend foday's dog, died in my parlor. he had been sleeping there nearly all day long, would go outside to use the bathroom and come back inside and sleep in the exact same spot. it was a particularly dark night for both of us, foday holding justice in his arms and crying, me next to him rubbing his back and trying not to do the same. but our relationship with dogs is unique in our village, perhaps in sierra leone. the majority conception here a simple one, that a dog provides security. you give dogs food, and the dog will protect you to ensure that it continues to receive food. i believe that this is true, but that it betrays a critical element, that of affection. justice does not wag his tail and bark happily, tink does not run at full speed down a road, queen does not whine at the front door until i let him in because they are hungry. they care about me / us the same way that we care about them. when i see cruelty against animals, as i have been seeing since my arrival here, it pains me, but i have come to accept that i cannot change it and that my only outlet is to treat my dogs the way i wish all of them were treated here. i feed them, give them attention, and recognize that they are more than security, that they are family. thank you, justice. i love and miss you all.

what makes a volunteer

>> i've been pondering, since there's not much else i can do. i thought about getting some water, but that means limping into the kitchen here and i don't have that kind of willpower right now. so, yes, pondering. what makes a good volunteer? i believe that yes, it requires the omnipresent flexibility, the ability to look at a situation in the process of disintegrating and to not get angry but swallow that, smile, and adapt. (example: when my doctor changed my plans for me, i could have gotten upset, and did, but that anger wouldn't have helped anything, so i changed my plans, adapted, and everything is working out). i also believe there has to be a certain amount of humility, to go into every situation, regardless of personal opinion, and appear interested and open (example: oh of course i'd love to stand and talk about your lack of funding for cooking dinner tonight even though yesterday you were yelling at me for not learning your language. of course! i'd love to talk :) but i also feel that a good volunteer has to have that snap point, that point at which they have had it. for some volunteers, it happens sooner than for others, and for some, when they are unable to walk, it comes up really quickly (example: men in lorry park harassing me about the price of things, telling me it should cost 50K when the real price should be between 5-10K, me trying to bargain, being laughed at for limping, and snapping. the price was settled at 25K, still ridiculous, but half of what they originally wanted. win? grrrr). so yes, what else? when you want to go to the bathroom, you're okay with going outside into the rain to get there, okay with cockroaches scurrying when you lift off the cover of your latrine, thunder and lightning that rattles your skull, snakes in the long grass, palm wine in your stomach, and a dreamy smile on your face? perhaps this is the beginning of dementia. i love and miss you all :)

you're pushing me

>> i'm not just going to complain, i promise. it all starts with my dog. there was those concerns about rabies, which led to me hurrying through freetown to get to my doctor before hours ended, which resulted in two minor blisters on my feet. these went away, i didn't have rabies, the blisters went away, but on my departure from freetown a taxi dragged me (and my foot) along the asphalt resulting in some nice bloody wounds on my right foot. so, arriving back in gbendembu, i wore a shoe on the left foot and a sandal on the right to facilitate its healing. this resulted in the blister on my left foot coming back. it then, by chance (africa) became a boil inside a blister inside a nightmare. the pain from this was incredible - i don't think i slept more than six hours over three nights, and finally called my doctor (since our doctor is on well-deserved vacation) who suggested i come to freetown. i truly appreciated sierra leoneans laughing at me while i limped from vehicle to vehicle. truly. i also appreciate you charging me double even though you can clearly see i am in pain. i REALLY appreciate that. especially after having lived here for 16+ months. i finally got here to freetown, and was told there's nothing that can really be done. i was given painkillers so i could sleep (and sleep i did :) and we're starting a new day here. with the problems of september, and now my inability to.. walk.. i'd really appreciate a break. you're pushing me, sierra leone. i love and miss you all.

things you didnt see today

>> it's a fun game, i promise!

1. a 15-year-old boy saying "Love without sex is like going to school without your uniform"
2. me crammed into a space the size of a small coffin (the africans got a huge kick out of this, and so did i.. i love waving with half an arm out of the poda-poda at students in neighboring villages, :)
3. a 15-year-old boy saying "Love without sex is like going to university and not getting your degree"
4. me and a good sierra leonean running to my house just as a huge storm comes in, cut to us laughing and soaking wet because we didn't quite make it
5. two dead dogs in the street
6. getting a ride with a friend ive made in freetown (she remembered me and took me almost all the way to my doorstep and i didnt have to squeeze into a space the size of a small coffin!
7. a taxi on the side of the road that had been in such a horrific accident that it was hard to tell which part of the car had once been the front and which had once been the trunk
8. a beautiful sunset over the atlantic ocean from the east side's perspective
9. a man going into a shop and literally ordering a hunk of meat, which then sat on the dashboard of our taxi for the remainder of the ride, looking all meaty and stuff
10. me smiling and getting dinner with a friend at the junction here near the hostel and her amazing chicken sauce and rice (and a warm star beer from hawa, my 'i made it to freetown alive' beer)

see? fun right? i love and miss you all.

sounds like a sequel

>> so my school got its exam results back. they were poor. very poor. i would hope to not get in trouble for this blog post: im beginning to see the creation of a large group of late teenage - early twenty-something men (since most of the women do not take the exam) that are poor, desperate, and frustrated. they do not have the necessary education to get the jobs they may want, so they drive the motorcycles, sell the food, and feel generally unsatisfied. what did we have at the heart of the last conflict in sierra leone? a large group of late teenage - early twenty-something men who were desperate and latched onto any cause they felt might improve their situation. i'm not sure what the solution is ( maybe something about education ) but i saw a lot of my students who got their exams back and they were itching for a fight and did indeed have one later that night that ended in police involvement. just a thought. i love and miss you all.

k, thanks september

>> this is has not been my best september. to be concise, since i know you're thinking 'ugh its one of his posts where just talks about himself imma go get a coke' i made a fool of myself multiple times over in a short period of time, culminating with this delightful unplanned trip (jaunt) to freetown to get my post-exposure rabies vaccination. ill let you fill in the blanks on that. however, beginning with my arrival at the hostel (which was helped by some nice Sisters of the Holy Name Church at Aberdeen ((backstory: i was waiting first, guys walked up, taxi arrives, i walk around to get in, guys have taken all the seats and pushed over to the other side, keeping me out, taxi pulls away. Sisters of the Holy Name Church see this happen and see the look of, oh, fury, on my face)) and i'm hoping that this is the end of my september troubles. please? // in other news, we're not teaching. we were supposed to start september 12th, but the pay package was not passed (this was supposed to have been passed in march. makes you wonder about getting wedding invitations) so here we sit. classes are supposed to start tomorrow, but my principal told me that we are likely really going to have effective teaching september 26th or into october. dear sierra leone, the reason peace corps is here is to help with education. this, this right now, is part of the problem. i love and miss you all.

mid service training and, out

>> just having finished our mid-service training, (and by the way, it's 'training' not conference as i had initially thought,.. apparently we are still being trained..), it's again a reminder of how far that we've come and how far we still have to go. most of the volunteers are really pushing, getting involved in multiple projects and working to really get a lot of development underway here. we're all getting sierra leone off to a fantastic start, laying the foundations of something that will continue to blossom for many years to come - it was great to see everyone, and even better to leave and head back to site and get back to work / not work. // as is often the case, the packages my parents have sent me for the past little while all seem to see each other on the way (oh hey. yeah. bryan? omg yes! we should totally go together and surprise him. okay! *giggles) which means that three packages, aka the height of an African primary school student and weighing as much are now my fun task of getting back to the village. such is life, yes? // we took a bunch of the salone-2 kids out last night for their first real night in freetown, this meant a bar on the beach (that has no name), then to ace's, a nightclub that seems to never sleep, where we danced until the early morning. they all seemed to really enjoy it, and i think it was a great taste of freetown for them - what they'll come to realize as their escape from the village (as long as they don't escape there too often, right? *looks around awkwardly*) // heading back to gbendembu tomorrow, should be there for three weeks before heading back here. not really in the most superb of mindsets right now, so i'll close here. i love and miss you all.