Monday, October 10, 2011

what makes a volunteer

>> i've been pondering, since there's not much else i can do. i thought about getting some water, but that means limping into the kitchen here and i don't have that kind of willpower right now. so, yes, pondering. what makes a good volunteer? i believe that yes, it requires the omnipresent flexibility, the ability to look at a situation in the process of disintegrating and to not get angry but swallow that, smile, and adapt. (example: when my doctor changed my plans for me, i could have gotten upset, and did, but that anger wouldn't have helped anything, so i changed my plans, adapted, and everything is working out). i also believe there has to be a certain amount of humility, to go into every situation, regardless of personal opinion, and appear interested and open (example: oh of course i'd love to stand and talk about your lack of funding for cooking dinner tonight even though yesterday you were yelling at me for not learning your language. of course! i'd love to talk :) but i also feel that a good volunteer has to have that snap point, that point at which they have had it. for some volunteers, it happens sooner than for others, and for some, when they are unable to walk, it comes up really quickly (example: men in lorry park harassing me about the price of things, telling me it should cost 50K when the real price should be between 5-10K, me trying to bargain, being laughed at for limping, and snapping. the price was settled at 25K, still ridiculous, but half of what they originally wanted. win? grrrr). so yes, what else? when you want to go to the bathroom, you're okay with going outside into the rain to get there, okay with cockroaches scurrying when you lift off the cover of your latrine, thunder and lightning that rattles your skull, snakes in the long grass, palm wine in your stomach, and a dreamy smile on your face? perhaps this is the beginning of dementia. i love and miss you all :)

No comments:

Post a Comment